letters to ollie: 3 months old

My dear Oliver,

I must apologize that I'm late in writing this.  

You're actually 3.5 months old already.  

The holiday season has been crazy though, and I've had much more fun playing and running around with you than writing up a post.

We're back in Nashville, all the family visits have ended, and your dad started up a new semester today.

So while I have a load of laundry running and the dishwasher going, 

I'm sitting here with my laptop balanced on my knees and you sleeping in my arms.

A lot has changed in the last month.  

I know I keep saying this, but boy oh boy I can't believe how quickly you're growing.

You absolutely love playing with me and your dad.

You babble and babble. 

Your laugh is completely infectious.  I finally got it on video.

Usually when I pull my phone out to try and video you, you quickly become very quiet and stoic looking.

Not this time though.  You and dad were having way too much fun.

Since you didn't have a 3-month check up, I'm not exactly sure how big you are.  I believe you're about 20lbs and somewhere between 26 and 27 inches though.  

You have your 4-month check up in another two weeks and we'll get some exact measurements.

I think you've started to level out with the weight gain though.

You've cut your daily eating time in half in the past couple weeks.

Oh, and we gave you your first ever bottle of pumped milk a couple weeks back.

You've still only been given a bottle like three times.

I think both of us prefer breastfeeding overall. 

You've started playing with some of your toys.  

You finally have a little bit more control over your hands and you absolutely LOVE grabbing things.  

You grab toys, blankets, arms, hair, and anything else you can get your little fingers around.

You use the Soothie binkies and you figured out how to stick your thumb in the hole in the middle, so you could simultaneously suck on your binkie and thumb.  

A couple weeks ago you figured out that your binkie is also something fun to grab onto.

You're constantly grabbing it and pulling it out of your mouth and trying to put it back in. 

You sometimes get lucky and get it back in, but your coordination is still developing. 

I absolutely love how much you light up when you see me and your dad.

Don't get me wrong, you're happy with pretty much anyone, but it's amazing to see how much you recognize and love your dad and me.  

That smile of yours gets me every time.  

We've been practicing your tummy time a lot more, and you're definitely getting stronger.

You're not rolling quite yet, but you can easily push yourself up on your forearms.

You sleep on your tummy you little punk.

It's honestly the only way you'll sleep.  

I know it's not recommended, but your dad and I finally decided we'd let you do it.

We bought one of those fancy AngelCare monitors that sounds an alarm if you ever stop moving or breathing.

That alone has given me more peace of mind that I can tell you.

I never really realized how much parents worry until I had you.

Well my dear baby, I worry about you all the time.

I worry about your sleeping habits, your eating habits, whether you're too cold or too hot.

I worry when you get dry skin.  I worry about your socks being too tight and making you uncomfortable.

I worry, worry, worry.

But I keep doing the things I believe are right and the things that work for us.

And so far you seem to be happy and healthy.  

I know I don't do everything perfectly, but I hope that you always know I'm doing the best that I know how.

I look at you every day and I'm reminded just how lucky I am.

You and your dad are the biggest blessings in my life.

Being a stay-at-home-mom isn't always the easiest, but I know it's what's best for you 

and I'm so lucky your dad and I are able to make it work so that I can be here with you.

As high maintenance as you can sometimes be my dear baby, I wouldn't trade all the little moments for anything.

I love you so incredibly much.

I love watching you grow everyday.

I love seeing the world through your bright and curious eyes.

Every morning is like a new experience for you.

I love watching you figure out your surroundings.

I love listening to your babblings.

I even love when you get frustrated with me and dad and you "scold" us in your adorable angry babble.

Oh Oliver, 

I really can't imagine my life without you.

You've made it so I rarely sleep and hardly ever get time to myself.

And yet I'm happy.

I'm happy and proud to be your momma.

Keep on growing little man.

Love you forever,

Momma 

P.S You had a great first Christmas.  I'll write about a little later this week. 

letters to ollie: 1 month

My dear baby, I can't believe you're already a month old!
People aren't kidding when they say time goes by so fast.
You've grown so much already.
I don't even know where to start.

Here are your stats for the month:
4 weeks old
11.4 pounds
20.5+ inches (you haven't been measured since your first week)

Everyday we learn a little bit more about you.
You LOVE to eat.  It's probably one of your favorite things.
Every 2 hours, on the hour, you know it's milk time.
You'll wake up from a dead sleep, lips smacking and head turning until you find your way to the milk.

One of your other favorite things as of late is baths.
Daddy got his wish.  You are most definitely a water baby.
You love sitting in your little bath tub in the warm water.
You better watch out come spring.  Your daddy plans on getting you in the pool as soon as it's warm again.

One of your best quirks?
You are one LOUD baby.
You seriously make noise all the time.
You weren't so noisy the first 2 weeks, but now?
Boy oh boy do you love grunting.
You grunt when you wake up.  When you eat.  While you're sleeping. And every time you stretch.

(Believe it or not you're actually yawning and stretching, not yelling in this picture.)

One of my favorite things lately is waking up to your adorableness.
You sleep right on my chest at night, all cozy and warm.
In the mornings I wake up to your head bobbing, mouth grunting, and you're always attempting to eat my face.
You tend to wake up ravenous in the mornings!
I can't help but laugh every time.

Daddy and I don't know who you look like quite yet.
Everyone seems to have their opinions of course,
but we'll just wait and see as you get older.
All I know if that you're perfect.
You have a perfect little face.
With perfect little toes, fingers, and ears.

You're getting so close to smiling.
It used to be that you'd have "gassy smiles," but now it seems like you're close to actually responding to us.
You do so many adorable faces.
Some of your favorites are "angry faces" as we call them.
You like to furrow your brow, pucker your lips, and have a stare off with me or dad.
And we just stare back, because we both know you're only going to be this little for such a short time.

I know it seems silly, but I can't believe how sad I am that you're already growing so fast.
You grew out of your newborn diapers after 2 weeks and by 3 weeks you grew out of your newborn clothes.
You're wearing 0-3 month clothes and even some 3 month clothes.
Boy oh boy are you gonna be a big boy.
The pediatrician says you're in the 90th percentile for both height and weight already.
You're definitely giving Momma and Daddy some toned up arms.

My little boy, I can't even tell you how much I love you.
Your daddy and I are so very very in love with you.
The first couple weeks were seriously a little crazy for us.
You didn't like sleeping...at all.
But now that we realize you just didn't like sleeping alone, we're all much happier.

I sometimes sit and think about the person you're going to grow up to be.
And as much as I love imagining the wonderful man you'll be one day, I never think about it for too long.
Because I don't want you to grow up just yet.
I want you to be my snuggly little baby for just awhile longer.
I want to hold you close and know that you're all mine and that in your little world, your daddy and I are everything to you.

It's difficult for me to fully comprehend the fact that I'm a mom and that I have a son.
More than anything I just feel truly and immeasurably grateful that Heavenly Father would bless me with such a sweet baby.
It's so comforting to know that Heavenly Father entrusted one of his dear children to my and hubby's care.
It gives me the confidence that I'm doing something right.
It makes me believe that I really am qualified to be your momma.
And that's a job I'm both terrified and thrilled about having forever.

My little Ollie, keep on growing and keep on being adorable.
You make me smile and laugh every day.
Love you more than I can tell you,
Momma