My dear Oliver,
I must apologize that I'm late in writing this.
You're actually 3.5 months old already.
The holiday season has been crazy though, and I've had much more fun playing and running around with you than writing up a post.
We're back in Nashville, all the family visits have ended, and your dad started up a new semester today.
So while I have a load of laundry running and the dishwasher going,
I'm sitting here with my laptop balanced on my knees and you sleeping in my arms.
A lot has changed in the last month.
I know I keep saying this, but boy oh boy I can't believe how quickly you're growing.
You absolutely love playing with me and your dad.
You babble and babble.
Your laugh is completely infectious. I finally got it on video.
Usually when I pull my phone out to try and video you, you quickly become very quiet and stoic looking.
Not this time though. You and dad were having way too much fun.
Since you didn't have a 3-month check up, I'm not exactly sure how big you are. I believe you're about 20lbs and somewhere between 26 and 27 inches though.
You have your 4-month check up in another two weeks and we'll get some exact measurements.
I think you've started to level out with the weight gain though.
You've cut your daily eating time in half in the past couple weeks.
Oh, and we gave you your first ever bottle of pumped milk a couple weeks back.
You've still only been given a bottle like three times.
I think both of us prefer breastfeeding overall.
You've started playing with some of your toys.
You finally have a little bit more control over your hands and you absolutely LOVE grabbing things.
You grab toys, blankets, arms, hair, and anything else you can get your little fingers around.
You use the Soothie binkies and you figured out how to stick your thumb in the hole in the middle, so you could simultaneously suck on your binkie and thumb.
A couple weeks ago you figured out that your binkie is also something fun to grab onto.
You're constantly grabbing it and pulling it out of your mouth and trying to put it back in.
You sometimes get lucky and get it back in, but your coordination is still developing.
I absolutely love how much you light up when you see me and your dad.
Don't get me wrong, you're happy with pretty much anyone, but it's amazing to see how much you recognize and love your dad and me.
That smile of yours gets me every time.
We've been practicing your tummy time a lot more, and you're definitely getting stronger.
You're not rolling quite yet, but you can easily push yourself up on your forearms.
You sleep on your tummy you little punk.
It's honestly the only way you'll sleep.
I know it's not recommended, but your dad and I finally decided we'd let you do it.
We bought one of those fancy AngelCare monitors that sounds an alarm if you ever stop moving or breathing.
That alone has given me more peace of mind that I can tell you.
I never really realized how much parents worry until I had you.
Well my dear baby, I worry about you all the time.
I worry about your sleeping habits, your eating habits, whether you're too cold or too hot.
I worry when you get dry skin. I worry about your socks being too tight and making you uncomfortable.
I worry, worry, worry.
But I keep doing the things I believe are right and the things that work for us.
And so far you seem to be happy and healthy.
I know I don't do everything perfectly, but I hope that you always know I'm doing the best that I know how.
I look at you every day and I'm reminded just how lucky I am.
You and your dad are the biggest blessings in my life.
Being a stay-at-home-mom isn't always the easiest, but I know it's what's best for you
and I'm so lucky your dad and I are able to make it work so that I can be here with you.
As high maintenance as you can sometimes be my dear baby, I wouldn't trade all the little moments for anything.
I love you so incredibly much.
I love watching you grow everyday.
I love seeing the world through your bright and curious eyes.
Every morning is like a new experience for you.
I love watching you figure out your surroundings.
I love listening to your babblings.
I even love when you get frustrated with me and dad and you "scold" us in your adorable angry babble.
I really can't imagine my life without you.
You've made it so I rarely sleep and hardly ever get time to myself.
And yet I'm happy.
I'm happy and proud to be your momma.
Keep on growing little man.
Love you forever,
P.S You had a great first Christmas. I'll write about a little later this week.